A Quick Guide To Dating In a Foreign Language: 7 Guy Types To Avoid

Dating in another language/dating a foreigner is another way to get language practice and it can also be fun. One of the things that I learned is that just because you’re dating in another language or dating a foreigner, that doesn’t always mean it will be interracial. Consider Africans, as well as Afro-Europeans, Afro-Latinos and Afro-Asians that DO exist, contrary to popular belief. The following can apply to anyone, even guys in your home country!

To make the most of your experience, here are 7 guy types to avoid when dating in a foreign language/dating a foreigner:

  • Guy #1 - The "I-can't-speak-your-native-language-that-well-so-you-have-to-speak-mine" guy, otherwise known as The Uncompromiser.
How to spot him? He “claims” to know only a few sentences (but he actually can speak functionally), in your native language (for example, English), insists you speak his language (because you speak it SOOOOO well *rolls eyes*), and refuses to speak yours. But just like he insisted you speak his language, he will insist other things be on his terms. When you're not paying attention, you'll catch him singing and understanding WHOLE rap songs. In English AND on beat. You're just sitting there like "Fawk you mean you don't speak English??". Next.

  • Guy #2 - The "I-have-no-filter-and-just-say-what-I-want-cause-that's-how-it-is-in-my-culture-take-it-or-leave-it" guy otherwise known as The Tactless Jerk.

How to spot him? It doesn't take long. He usually has already said something offensive by the second sentence. If he's smart, he'll wait at least until the fourth sentence to offend you. Just politely get up and walk away.

  • Guy #3 - The "I-never-banged-a-black-chick-before-and-I-can't-wait-to-get-you-in-the-sack-giggity-giggity" guy, otherwise known as The Creep.

How to spot him? He keeps asking sexual questions that start off with "Is it true that black women...?", and gushes about he finds black women sexy and/or erotic (ugh). Sometimes if the moon is aligned with the stars, he might save you some time and just come right out and tell you he's never been with a black woman before and how excited he is to bonk you. That's the part of the movie where you tell him to politely go fawk himself ‘cause he can do it much better.

  • Guy #4 - The "I-don't-have-much-experience-with-black-women-but-I-like-you-so-I'm-gonna-tell-as-many-corny-UNFUNNY-cultural-jokes-as-I-can-in-an-effort-to-make-you-laugh-because-I'm-awkward" guy, otherwise known as The Microaggressor.

How to spot him? He's usually telling you lame jokes about him being white, about you being black, about your hair, your skin, his skin, your lips, hips, etc. He thinks his "ice breakers" are really funny and relatable, but they are REALLY NOT. Please do NOT encourage him. AT. ALL. Guy, do better.

  • Guy #5 - The "all-black-girls-are-easy-so-this-shouldn't-take-long" guy otherwise known as The Douchebag.

How to spot him? He's a little different from Guy #3, because he comes off really arrogant and doesn't even bother asking the “Is it true” questions. He just expects you to deliver yourself before asking important personality questions such as, "have you ever killed anyone with an ax before?", "are you a vegan?", "do you participate in human trafficking a la taken?" etc. The worst part is? Guys in your home country approach the same way, so it’s hard to be as insulted as you probably should be by this.

  • Guy #6 - The "I-like-the-novelty-of-you-and-I'm-genuinely-interested-in-learning-all-about-your-customs-mores-our-cultural-differences-as-well-as-things-we-have-in-common" guy otherwise known as The Sociologist.

How to spot him? He asks questions about you but mostly your country and its government, because to him, you are “the black correspondent”. He broaches thought-provoking topics, brings up current events, encourages debate and enjoys getting insight into your logic. It seems nice at first, to be spoken to like a human being and not being objectified sexually, for once—until you realize that all you’ll ever be is a social studies project to this guy.

  • Guy #7 - the "I-only-date-black-women-and/or-been-with-black-women-before-so-I-ain't-new-to-this-I'm-true-to-this" guy, otherwise known as Malibu’s Most Wanted.

How to spot him? He keeps nonchalantly mentioning that his exes are all black, that he only finds black women attractive, and that he knows all about perms, weaves and black hair gel. He's faux-woke and supports #BlackLivesMatter and thinks the U.S. is a trash ass country due to its racial issues while he ignores similar issues in his own country. His child's mother is black and he's basically on some Jay-Z black car, black card, all black everything ish. He thinks he knows sooooo damn much about black women and black culture, but as annoying as he is with it, he is one of the few people who wouldn't have EVER gotten fooled by Rachel Dolezal though.

While some of these guys do have good attributes, it is important to find balance. Too much of one extreme is not meaningful or helpful. All of these examples are based on guys that I either have as friends (and actually know them to be like this), encountered them while dating abroad or encountered them while dating foreign in my home country. Quiet as it's kept, these same guys exist in the home country as natives!

It is very possible to find someone who has genuine interest, treats you like a human being and also has a healthy attraction to you. But let’s be real, that’s hard enough to find in your own country, let alone in a whole ‘nother one!

What are your experiences dating foreign? Dating in a foreign language? Have you encountered any other types of guys while doing either? Share your experiences below!

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